Monday, August 25, 2008

A Perfect Rose

A lovely poem had come in the mail written by a friend in memory of my daughter, Darlene. But the thing that really caught my eye was the beautiful rosebud and stem that went the entire length of the paper. As I looked at the rose I felt a healing in my heart and an answer to a prayer made beside Darlene's bed when she was in the hospital.

My mind did a quick replay of several scenes. The first was the day I was talking to my sister-in-law about childhood hurts as we sat on the deck in my back yard. I told her that when Darlene was born it was like God placed a beautiful and perfect rosebud in my hand to care for and watch develop into a full blossoming flower. As the years went by I became over zealous and began to pull at the petals to help form the rose. But rather than being of help I felt I had marred the beauty of the rose as I looked at the falling petals. And realizing too late that only God can make a rose.

The next scene that came to mind was when I was holding Darlene's hand as I sat by her bed in the hospital. I felt such a closeness to her and as I continued to rub and pat her hand, she looked at me and said, "Mother, God told me a couple of days ago that this was for the healing of my childhood hurts." I expressed to her how glad I was and then in silence, I prayed that God would also heal my broken heart of the hurt and guilt in everything where I had been unwise and had brought pain to her.

As I continued to look at the rose, a scripture came into my mind. "Behold I make all things new." There were no missing petals. They had all been restored. The rose that had been entrusted to me was returned to God, perfect and complete.

My beautiful rose, Darlene, was placed in her Father's hand, August 22, 2004.
I would like to add that after the stormy teenage years, some of the wrong choices Darlene made worked later to her advantage in understanding and helping other young people who made unwise choices. She implemented a Young Mother's Program, Clinic and Daycare at a charter high school where she worked as an RN.


Joyfulsister said...

Oh Mary,

What a beautiful, touching, and heartfelt, post. It touched me all the way down to my soul. I love the way the rose was used to tell this story, what a gentle reminder for all mothers and daughters. Sometimes even with me I want so much for my girls to make wise choices and protect them, but the Lord speaks to me and lets me know that there are times when I just need to step back and pray for them and allow him to do his perfect work. We truly can damage a gentle rose with a critical spirit or even by negelecting it. Thank you my sweet sister for this awesome post I walk away with a wiser outlook.
Darlene was blessed to have you,as well as she also was to have you.
Luv ya Lorie

skoots1mom said...

they are ours only for a little while...
Isn't it wonderfully comforting to get those confirmations that she is whole with her Heavenly Father in post today is about Eternity.

Denise said...

This really touched me. Bless you my beautiful friend.

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Oh Mary, how very beautiful. You have such a genuine and sweet heart. Such a motherly and grandmotherly figure. You share your heart so open and rare.

Thank you so much for this and for the reminder that when we try to shape our rose, we end up pulling off the buds and making it less than what ONLY God can do.

May I ask how old Darlene was? I'm assuming an adult but we shouldn't assume anything.


Debra said...

This touched me down to my toes. God bless you.

jojo said...

What a beautiful post. It touched me in so many ways. It truly was hearfelt. Thank you for sharing it with us.

By the way, I made my way over here from the Righteous Buzz. Your blog is lovely and Ilook forward to visitng it again ;)


elaine @ peace for the journey said...


Thank you for your mother's heart, and your mother's hands that led your daughter back home to know the healing touch of her Father's hands.

The best is yet to be...


God Chaser said...

Only God can make a rose- I will remember this as I try to raise my daughter and be careful not to pull the petals trying to form what I desire. This wa sbeautiful thanks for sharing and thanks for stopping by I feel so blessed that the Holy Spirit guided me in writing a prayer that touched someone. Be blessed

Charlotte said...

How precious this message is. I really am speechless. All I can do is offer up a prayer for you.
Hugs & blessings,

Amanda B. said...

Oh sweet sister,

You have moved me today. I'm so glad you commented on my blog and gave me the great honor to meet you and hear of your story. I'm just starting on this mothering journey (15 month old) and I am wise enough to know that I will probably make many mistakes and cause many hurts. I certainly pray that God will protect my little one and protect me from myself, but I know that I am not perfect. I sure am glad that you were able to have a "healing" between you and your daughter. My father (a recovering alcoholic) and I are just now beginning to rebuild from a lifetime of hurts, and I am very greatful that God is so gracious and will "make all things new". What a glorious reunion you and your daughter will have one day.

God bless you and I am going to add you to my blogroll...I am drawn to you toay and I want to keep up with your blog.

Sheryl said...


What a beatiful story. Thanks for sharing your heart and your precious memories with all of us. You're so right about those childhood hurts but how merciful of God to show you Darlene's healing before He called her home.

Love you,

Plant Lady said...


Such a beautiful post about a beautiful rose, your daughter!

You speak with such love and compassion which is a reflection of the love and compassion of our Saviour!

Blessings to you,
Plant Lady

nannykim said...

Thanks for sharing that...I am also glad that your daughter shared to you that fact of God's beautiful healing. I think all daughters come to realize the need for forgiveness of moms when they themselves become mothers. As moms we want the best, but because we are imperfect we often do things that can harm. I think we learn so much about relationships when we become moms ourselves and then again when our daughters become moms. My daughter has realized how difficult it is , at times, to have the wisdom needed with each child.

From the Heart said...

Mary, I think I have caught up on all your posts. They are all great but this one is absolutely beautiful and shows just what God will do when we let Him.

I agree with Paula, you are a very sweet person and so willing to share your heart. You would certainly qualify as a "grandmother
figure to all of us". Thanks for your prayers.

The past week has been exhausting but I'm so glad we went to our niece's when we did. She is a very closed secretive person, but she wanted her family there with her. One of her son's aunts had a vision while in the hospital after he had passed. She said Ian appeared before her and told her he was okay and not to worry about him and to tell his dad that he was okay. This was so good to hear. Our Heavenly Father knew that we all needed to know he was with Him.
Love and blessings,

Marilyn said...

Mary,this was an extremely touching post. And you are so right....many of us have hidden away in the deep recesses of our hearts and minds things that hurt us when we were children. I'm glad that your daughter was able to be healed from some of those wounds before she passed away.

This morning I heard Dr. Dobson interviewing Stephen Curtis Chapman. Mr. Chapman said that one of the most poignant things that was sent to them after their daughter was accidently killed a few months ago was in a letter from someone he has hever met. This man said...."Your daughter is a bigger part of your future than she ever was in your present".....meaning that we have such a very short time here on this earth in comparison to the time we will spend together in heaven with our loved ones.

May God bless you Mary! You have been a blessing to me.


skoots1mom said...

i just wanted to say "hello" again...i reread your post and each time it touches me in a different way.

In our Bible Study today, Jesus in the Gospels, we were studying the wording that the writers used in the Gospels conveying their thoughts and meanings. They very clearly used words such as "so", "in order that", "for" which we take for granted...yet they point to the most important part of the thoughts...the subjects, or the outcomes, or the meanings. When I was re-reading about Darlene..."for the healing" jumped out at me...Jesus is our healer...He is the bridge that connects us to our past legacy in the Old Testament, where so many of the prophets spoke of "the Christ" to come...the bridge that connects us to one another as we walk in this life, through every challenge that comes our way--he heals when we let Him. He is the bridge that connects now to eternity with His Promise of Heaven, and making a place for us. He didn't lie to us while He walked on this earth, and I know He is not lying when He speaks to our hearts in prayer and through His Holy Spirit.

We will see "our babies" again...I lost mine when I was 13-weeks pregnant, it would have been my first. He is our bridge, our Hope, our Rock, and our Refuge...Praise Him for all He was, all He is, and all He will be when we get to see His face!
Sweet dreams...let's dream about Heaven tonight, what do you say?!

Coffee Bean said...

Oh Mary... your posts are so heart wrenching for me to read and at the same time bring me such hope. I thank God to have found you in this big world wide web... or that you found me. I don't know which!

debbiewhitlock said...

Hey Mary,
Thank you for the sweet message you left me. It's nice to know someone cares. It makes my day! I am doing better. God is helping me.

I hope you are doing great.

ancient one said...

Beautiful story ... comparing your daughter to a rose... We all have a tendency to want to help GOD with his plans...forcing the petals to open before HE's ready. Mary, this was such a sweet post. Thank You!

Debra said...

Mary, I'm so glad you commented on my blog. I am deeply touched by your post because it could have been me you wrote about. So many hurts, and it seems they are hard to be free of...But I have seen God do so much in my life as far as healing.
Your rose is a beautiful touch to your memory, and I will treasure your story too.
Love, Debra

Mary said...


What an inspirational and heart-touching post. I'm so glad that your dropped by my Writing Nook to enter my Harvest Giveaway. That led me hear to read this wonderful post.

I too have a daughter and when she was born, I wrote a poem about her. I must look that up and give it to her. She will be 40 in February. Daughters are a precious gift from God. Thanks for the reminder.

So nice to meet you. I do hope you will drop over for a visit again.

Blessings for a great weekend.

Regina said...

I worry all the time about doing something wrong in my parenting that will "scar" my children. I know worry is a sin and I should not do this.

Thank you for this post. It reminds me that at some point I must raise my children the best way I know how with His wisdom and then just trust Him with the rest. He does and will take even the painful things in our life and use them to His glory.